Ok, so here it is: I'm 28 years old and have known him for 20 years and I promise I never realized that Jesus fed 5,000 and then turned right around and fed 4,000. Seriously.
I wonder if this isn't because because we are slightly less impressed. I mean, in the first miracle Jesus fed 5,000 men (plus women and children) with five loaves of bread and two fishes and there were 12 baskets of leftovers. (Feel like you're about to work a standardized math test word problem?) In the second miracle he fed 4,000 men (plus women and children) with seven loaves and a few small fishes and there were only seven baskets of leftovers.
I'm no expert, and I'm certainly no mathematician (stop laughing, Mom!) but it looks to me like the second miracle was "less than" the first. I mean, more food to feed less people with less leftovers? What's up with that? Did Jesus get tired after feeding the first crowd?
I kid, I kid...but don't you think that somewhere in our human hearts we are prone to this kind of thinking? I know that sometimes I am so busy (like the Pharisees) seeking a miraculous sign that I miss the pretty awesome things that the Lord does under my nose (feeding 4,000) because I'm waiting for Him to feed 5,000. And instead of praising him for feeding 4,000-I'm also prone to whining that he didn't do what he did before. I'm pretty human-just saying...
Here's another thought-what if Jesus only fed 4,000 the second time around because that's all that showed up? The more I give Him, the bigger He can be in my life-right?
Six chapters left in Matthew-can't wait to see what else He has for me and get on to the other gospels!
My new favorite salutation:
Let's stand firm together in Him.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Solitude and Simplicity
*sigh* How I missed my tea the last few days. It's so wonderful to finally miss the presence of my Lord instead of feeling guilty for not working Him in. And to know that is what he wants for me is even better...
I'm still reading through Matthew-just finished chapter 14 this morning which is the halfway point. I may need to go back and actually study some of the parables, because I think I missed the point on a few :) But for now I am trying to "just read" and I am amazed how many little things the Lord is showing me, even if I do miss the big idea.
One thing that tugged at my heart today was the simplicity of Jesus. I love that he told stories that the people could relate to (even if I sometimes don't...hahaha!) I love the response when the disciples ask him why he told stories in chapter 13:
"Then he explained to them, "You have been permitted to understand the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven, but others have not. To those who are open to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge." (Emphasis added)
This is so encouraging to me! All I have to do is approach with an open heart and the rest will come! I'm sure it won't always be easy to do, but not really a complicated process, right? And anyone-regardless of education, background, IQ, etc.-has the same access to the creator of the whole universe because of Jesus. I think that's pretty awesome in a world where nothing else is that simple and all of those other things factor in to what we can have and do with our lives.
Something else that strikes me as wonderfully simplistic in this gospel is the way in which Jesus heals. He just simply says "Ok. Get up and walk." or "You want to see? See." The people who had the most faith simply touched his clothes and were made whole. This speaks volumes to me about the power he had. He didn't need a fancy complicated process to heal someone. He spoke it and it was, because he is. And with all the power in the universe he still chose to humble himself to the ultimate sacrifice so that he could show his unfathomable love for me. Mind.blowing.
The last cookie I had with my tea this morning was one of comfort. Just after John the Baptist was killed and before Jesus fed 5,000 people with five loaves and two fishes, verse 13 reads:
"As soon as Jesus heard the news [of John the Baptist], he went off by himself in a boat to a remote area to be alone."
I knew of other times that Jesus went off to be alone (when he was tempted, in the garden before his death), but I don't think I knew of this one. It was a much needed picture of Jesus' humanity for me. Jesus went off alone to grieve his friend. In a time that I am grieving for the illness of one friend and remembering the death of another-I have felt as though it is somehow wrong for me to desire solitude in this situation. Like maybe I'm being selfish. So this verse was a neat little comforting find this morning. I needed to know that Jesus desired solitude in his pain. I can't wait to see even more of his humanity.
Blessing to all until my next tea! :)
I'm still reading through Matthew-just finished chapter 14 this morning which is the halfway point. I may need to go back and actually study some of the parables, because I think I missed the point on a few :) But for now I am trying to "just read" and I am amazed how many little things the Lord is showing me, even if I do miss the big idea.
One thing that tugged at my heart today was the simplicity of Jesus. I love that he told stories that the people could relate to (even if I sometimes don't...hahaha!) I love the response when the disciples ask him why he told stories in chapter 13:
"Then he explained to them, "You have been permitted to understand the secrets of the Kingdom of Heaven, but others have not. To those who are open to my teaching, more understanding will be given, and they will have an abundance of knowledge." (Emphasis added)
This is so encouraging to me! All I have to do is approach with an open heart and the rest will come! I'm sure it won't always be easy to do, but not really a complicated process, right? And anyone-regardless of education, background, IQ, etc.-has the same access to the creator of the whole universe because of Jesus. I think that's pretty awesome in a world where nothing else is that simple and all of those other things factor in to what we can have and do with our lives.
Something else that strikes me as wonderfully simplistic in this gospel is the way in which Jesus heals. He just simply says "Ok. Get up and walk." or "You want to see? See." The people who had the most faith simply touched his clothes and were made whole. This speaks volumes to me about the power he had. He didn't need a fancy complicated process to heal someone. He spoke it and it was, because he is. And with all the power in the universe he still chose to humble himself to the ultimate sacrifice so that he could show his unfathomable love for me. Mind.blowing.
The last cookie I had with my tea this morning was one of comfort. Just after John the Baptist was killed and before Jesus fed 5,000 people with five loaves and two fishes, verse 13 reads:
"As soon as Jesus heard the news [of John the Baptist], he went off by himself in a boat to a remote area to be alone."
I knew of other times that Jesus went off to be alone (when he was tempted, in the garden before his death), but I don't think I knew of this one. It was a much needed picture of Jesus' humanity for me. Jesus went off alone to grieve his friend. In a time that I am grieving for the illness of one friend and remembering the death of another-I have felt as though it is somehow wrong for me to desire solitude in this situation. Like maybe I'm being selfish. So this verse was a neat little comforting find this morning. I needed to know that Jesus desired solitude in his pain. I can't wait to see even more of his humanity.
Blessing to all until my next tea! :)
Saturday, April 30, 2011
The Turd Throws Rocks
Yesterday was pretty draining (I feel like I need a blood transfusion.) So I didn't make it out of bed in time for a proper tea. I'm sitting here with cold tea listening to my child ramble over her breakfast and thinking about how the Turd has a radar that goes off when I get too close to my Father and he immediately starts throwing rocks to try and force me to retreat.
Right now I think he's even using my child to wear me down. To that I say, "Hey...Turd...PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!"
A bigger rock that was hurled our way yesterday was news of a friend's ovarian cancer. This news is especially shocking to me in light of the fact that my friend is the second wife of our friend whose first wife also died of cancer. My first thought was "Really, God? Is this a joke?!"
Not very spiritual, I realize. But as I pondered the fairness (or rather lack of fairness) of this situation, I received a pretty powerful thought. It went something like this:
"Unfair? Do you want to talk about unfair? The cross. The cross is what was unfair."
Obviously I have no argument for this.
At the same time, I found this thought extremely comforting. The God of the universe came here to suffer and die to cover my faults...which is probably the absolute most unfair thing I can imagine. I don't really need to sit here and ponder what's fair. It's all covered.
Isn't it amazing how God can take a stone the Devil throws and turn it into a cookie? Might not be my favorite flavor (and I admit I pouted about that...) but I never met a cookie I wouldn't eat. :) I wish my tea wasn't cold...
Man...I hope I never get over His largeness and power ever again, even in struggles.
Please pray for my friend. I know a lot of people who sure would love it if she we made whole again. And I also know that I (and surely many others) will need an awful lot of strength to accept anything else.
Right now I think he's even using my child to wear me down. To that I say, "Hey...Turd...PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!"
A bigger rock that was hurled our way yesterday was news of a friend's ovarian cancer. This news is especially shocking to me in light of the fact that my friend is the second wife of our friend whose first wife also died of cancer. My first thought was "Really, God? Is this a joke?!"
Not very spiritual, I realize. But as I pondered the fairness (or rather lack of fairness) of this situation, I received a pretty powerful thought. It went something like this:
"Unfair? Do you want to talk about unfair? The cross. The cross is what was unfair."
Obviously I have no argument for this.
At the same time, I found this thought extremely comforting. The God of the universe came here to suffer and die to cover my faults...which is probably the absolute most unfair thing I can imagine. I don't really need to sit here and ponder what's fair. It's all covered.
Isn't it amazing how God can take a stone the Devil throws and turn it into a cookie? Might not be my favorite flavor (and I admit I pouted about that...) but I never met a cookie I wouldn't eat. :) I wish my tea wasn't cold...
Man...I hope I never get over His largeness and power ever again, even in struggles.
Please pray for my friend. I know a lot of people who sure would love it if she we made whole again. And I also know that I (and surely many others) will need an awful lot of strength to accept anything else.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
A couple thoughts from Matthew
I'm so excited lately about our Savior who is so big and so real that I can barely contain myself. I've started the 90 day Bible challenge a couple times in the past, but I keep getting bogged down in the old testament. I am not by any means implying that it isn't worth reading or the new testament is better or more important when I say this-I think Satan wants to keep me out of the new testament and away from Jesus. (Again-not that the old testament has nothing to do with Jesus-I'm just thick and need it real directly sometimes...) Soooo...yesterday I started in Matthew and when I finish the new testament, I intend to pick up where I left off the last time I was in the old testament.
Ha. Take that, Turd.
Anyway, I read in Matthew today about several people that Jesus healed during his ministry. I've been around the Bible block long enough to have heard most of these stories before, so I knew I needed to ask for a fresh perspective. As I was reading along I was wondering if people who aren't close to Jesus ever hear these stories and think "yeah, so what...man has come a long way since then-we can cure all kinds of diseases." Which is kind of true-even though I definitely believe in miraculous healing that is straight from the Lord.
I think the Turd often gets us with these things that are "part true". He's such a good liar that he knows we're kinda smart and we need enough truth to make it plausible. I hate him. Anyway...
As I was pondering this, something neat occurred to me (as if for the first time...) Man may be able to do some pretty awesome things in the field of medicine and physical health-but only Jesus can heal and restore my spirit. And I know this from experience. I've tried to medicate and heal my broken spirit 55 thousand other ways (you know, just in case Jesus isn't sufficient. I never claimed to be the wisest individual in His kingdom.) And guess what? None of them work. Don't waste your time. Seriously. :)
That was my first cookie I received to go with my tea this morning...here is the second:
I was reading about Jesus healing the demon possessed men in chapter 8. If you don't know the story-basically Jesus meets up with these two guys that are dangerously possessed (as in no one can pass by the area where they hung out) and the men screamed at him "Why are you bothering us-have you come to torture us before our appointed time?" Then the demons ask if Jesus is going to cast them out, to please put them into a herd of pigs feeding nearby. Jesus says "Go!" and all the pigs run down a hillside into a lake and drown.
Something I find amusing here (besides the picture of demon possessed pigs charging down a hill) is that the Bible doesn't say that Jesus said a single word until the demons got done begging and he says "Go". I take this to mean that the demons knew who Jesus was and what his business with them was AND that they have a judgment appointment...and they're demons. How is it that I forget these things? Anyway...that wasn't even the real cookie...
The real cookie is that after the pigs drown all the herdsmen run to town to tell all that happened. The NLT reads like this (verses 33 and 34) "The herdsmen fled to the nearby city, telling everyone what happened to the demon-possessed men. The entire town came out to meet Jesus, but they begged him to go away and leave them alone."
I was sitting here thinking "what a weird response..." (Actually, I always found the whole story kind of odd...) But then I wondered-is it really so weird? How many times am I afraid of what Jesus might do? Not in a "he's going to strike me down" kinda way, but in a "Wow! He's really big and amazing! If I truly follow him, in what way might he ask me to "take up my cross"? It could definitely get uncomfortable...I'm afraid to be uncomfortable, so Jesus-if you could just wait right over there at a comfortable distance...I'll see you in Heaven, mmmK? Thanks."
Right? Am I right? I don't think we want to admit that we "beg" the Lord to leave us alone...but I know I've wrestled with him over not wanting to follow his directions before. Kinda the same thing...
He always lets me go and have my tantrums in the corner when I want to be left alone and graciously accepts me back into his loving arms every time I realize how stupid I'm being. That's what I love most about his grace-it is so sufficient I can't even screw up beyond its sufficiency.
And that's the two and a half cookies I had with my tea this morning.
Ha. Take that, Turd.
Anyway, I read in Matthew today about several people that Jesus healed during his ministry. I've been around the Bible block long enough to have heard most of these stories before, so I knew I needed to ask for a fresh perspective. As I was reading along I was wondering if people who aren't close to Jesus ever hear these stories and think "yeah, so what...man has come a long way since then-we can cure all kinds of diseases." Which is kind of true-even though I definitely believe in miraculous healing that is straight from the Lord.
I think the Turd often gets us with these things that are "part true". He's such a good liar that he knows we're kinda smart and we need enough truth to make it plausible. I hate him. Anyway...
As I was pondering this, something neat occurred to me (as if for the first time...) Man may be able to do some pretty awesome things in the field of medicine and physical health-but only Jesus can heal and restore my spirit. And I know this from experience. I've tried to medicate and heal my broken spirit 55 thousand other ways (you know, just in case Jesus isn't sufficient. I never claimed to be the wisest individual in His kingdom.) And guess what? None of them work. Don't waste your time. Seriously. :)
That was my first cookie I received to go with my tea this morning...here is the second:
I was reading about Jesus healing the demon possessed men in chapter 8. If you don't know the story-basically Jesus meets up with these two guys that are dangerously possessed (as in no one can pass by the area where they hung out) and the men screamed at him "Why are you bothering us-have you come to torture us before our appointed time?" Then the demons ask if Jesus is going to cast them out, to please put them into a herd of pigs feeding nearby. Jesus says "Go!" and all the pigs run down a hillside into a lake and drown.
Something I find amusing here (besides the picture of demon possessed pigs charging down a hill) is that the Bible doesn't say that Jesus said a single word until the demons got done begging and he says "Go". I take this to mean that the demons knew who Jesus was and what his business with them was AND that they have a judgment appointment...and they're demons. How is it that I forget these things? Anyway...that wasn't even the real cookie...
The real cookie is that after the pigs drown all the herdsmen run to town to tell all that happened. The NLT reads like this (verses 33 and 34) "The herdsmen fled to the nearby city, telling everyone what happened to the demon-possessed men. The entire town came out to meet Jesus, but they begged him to go away and leave them alone."
I was sitting here thinking "what a weird response..." (Actually, I always found the whole story kind of odd...) But then I wondered-is it really so weird? How many times am I afraid of what Jesus might do? Not in a "he's going to strike me down" kinda way, but in a "Wow! He's really big and amazing! If I truly follow him, in what way might he ask me to "take up my cross"? It could definitely get uncomfortable...I'm afraid to be uncomfortable, so Jesus-if you could just wait right over there at a comfortable distance...I'll see you in Heaven, mmmK? Thanks."
Right? Am I right? I don't think we want to admit that we "beg" the Lord to leave us alone...but I know I've wrestled with him over not wanting to follow his directions before. Kinda the same thing...
He always lets me go and have my tantrums in the corner when I want to be left alone and graciously accepts me back into his loving arms every time I realize how stupid I'm being. That's what I love most about his grace-it is so sufficient I can't even screw up beyond its sufficiency.
And that's the two and a half cookies I had with my tea this morning.
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